Justin Williams in La Jolla, CA (California)

Justin D. Williams Age 38

La Jolla, CA | Lakeside, CA | Carlsbad, CA

I have low self-esteem, but I make up for it by being really, really ridiculously good-looking. No, really. I compulsively alphabetize things... not just things with labels or titles, but everything. I like the color red... cobalt blue is also a contender. I greatly enjoy the company of Jews, flaming homosexuals, crunchy vegans, punks, goths, latinas and black people... if you have a problem with any of those groups, maybe we shouldn't be friends. I like to tell people I was born in the wagon of a travelin' show. I hate shaving, almost as much as I hate being unshaven. I'm double-jointed, and over-all very flexible. I like to bake and make other people eat it. I hate doing dishes and washing my car, but I enjoy showering. I have very large, dextrous toes. I often hiccough (or "hiccup", if you must) once, and then I'm done. I enjoy going barefoot, yet I own over 60 pairs of shoes. Knowing a person's middle name makes me feel as though I have some kind of power over them. I'm definitely a Britophile. I know the difference between your/you're, there/their/they're, it's/its, lay/lie, good/well, who's/whose, can/may, was/were, to/too/two, and all of those other things you should've learned when you were in school, and I will call you on it if you use them improperly. I am always, ALWAYS logged on to AIM. I can be friends with just about anyone. I used to double-fist Long Islands at the bar, until I found out they have about 800 calories each. I love kids and other small furry creatures. I have a not-so-secret obsession with red-heads. I'm a sucker for people with accents, and often have one (or several) myself. If I were rich, I'd have plastic surgery. I'm pro-choice. Hating Bush isn't a political philosophy, but it's a damn good start. I think Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr Pepper is amazing. I often ramble. Oh, and I have a crush on you.

• #Linguistics
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